This ad for Fallout 4 was my first time ever hearing about the series, but I knew, in just that minute, I had to be there. A world where you could have friends, build relationships, build cities-a world you could change. In less than a minute, I saw a world where war and famine had ended humanity, drowned in its own hubris, and turned to a desolate wasteland. And then, so vividly, I remember seeing a commercial on TV at my mom’s house. As suicide had entered my mind I again had started trying to find a therapist in Paducah, but none of them were helpful enough to warrant a second session. I visited home over a long weekend and was in a bad place. My job was horrible, I was being verbally abused by my boss, I had made not a single friend despite wandering around town looking. I was obese and getting worse, and I could start to see myself on a precipice I had long stayed away from. In October 2015, I was starting to lose my grip. I never paid attention to E3, read about games online, or really talked to friends about video games.

I had never played an open-world game, a first-person shooter, or a game where you could make decisions. At 22 years old, the only RPG I had ever played in my life was Pokemon (I am still an avid fan though). in the title I most likely did not play it growing up. I loved video games growing up, but if a game didn’t have Mario, Pokemon, or Super Smash Bros. It’s important to note that up to this point, I had really only ever owned Nintendo game systems. I was rapidly gaining weight from stress eating, my job was awful and overwhelming, and I spent most nights talking to my best friend on the phone and playing Splatoon on my Wii U in my giant, empty apartment. After about a month, I had made no friends. Paducah was the kind of small, middle-of-nowhere town where you either got out right when you graduated high school and never returned, or you never got out. My coworkers were pretty much all middle-aged or older, and most had children that were older than me.

How little we know fallout